(WSBT) It's probably not a shock when people say our society appears to be getting meaner, and the anonymity of e-mail makes it all too easy.

First term Congressman Joe Donnelly makes it a point to meet his constituents face to face. But he admits, not everyone agrees with his stand on all the issues and that disagreement can occasionally lead to an angry e-mail.

"The real nasty ones are the small minority. They can get pretty nasty. But I try to respond in a cordial way and say we may disagree and that's part of the American process of governining," Rep. Donnelly said.

Mishawaka Mayor Jeff Rea deals with that as well. He said problems with city services prompt the most passionate e-mails. But, he also said the most negative ones are usually anonymous.

"I think the difficult thing for us is we can't respond to let them know the truth behind it ... how their problem can be solved."

Alec Hosterman teaches communication at Indiana University at South Bend. He said part of the problem is different people will interpret the content of an e-mail message differently.

"Human face to face communication, I can read everything that you're doing, saying, your non-verbal communication. I'm left to my imagination when I'm reading a piece of e-mail," Hosterman said.

Hosterman said E-rage is similar to road rage — someone who's timid in real life can sit behind the computer with a sense of confidence. But he says there are things to consider.

"You're not dealing with Silicon Valley, the computer and that's it," Hosterman said. "You're dealing with someone that interprets and reads and has feelings and emotions."

And those feelings are being impacted at an earlier age. No longer are playground bullies the only thing kids have to worry about. Cyberbullying is becoming more common in local schools.

Lisa Daniel received national recognition after surveying more than 250 local students to find out how prevalent cyberbullying is. Statistics from I-Safe, an Internet education group, show 42 percent of kids say they've been bullied while online, and 25 percent say it has happened more than once. Local students told Daniel it's a problem here, too.

"Some of the kids said this is under your radar as adults. You think you know, but you really don't know because we are children of technology and you are not," Daniel said.

She said parents need to talk with their kids about what's happening online, reassure them and most importantly — listen. Hosterman said it's important for both children and adults to realize that communicating electronically is just that — communication.

"There is no difference in my opinion between sitting down writing a letter, e-mail or talking with one another. It's just a different mode in a sense," Hosterman said.

So that can be the starting point when you're trying to decide how to respond to a mean e-mail. The experts say it's probably a good idea not to reply immediately — hostility will only prompt more hostility.

Write your response and walk away for a few hours or even a day. Then go back and re-read it. Is that really what you'd say to someone face to face? If not, it's better to start again.