12:35 AM EST, January 27, 2013
"Saturday Night Live" tapped into excitement over the Super Bowl and the amusement over Ray Lewis' exuberance during the Weekend Update segment. Kenan Thompson appeared in jersey and face paint as Lewis, whom host Seth Meyers interviewed. The highlight came with Thompson's promise that, upon winning the Super Bowl, he would kneel down on the 50-yeard line and ASCEND INTO HEAVEN.
Thompson: Whooh! Oh, Seth.
Meyers: So, Ray, are you excited for the big game?
Thompson: Aaah. [Sobs.]
Thompson: Oh, Seth, it's going to be a mega --
Meyers: You're already losing it. We're getting used to this, Ray. A lot of us saw you cry last week during the National Anthem.
Thompson: Well, it's just … I've never heard that song before. [[Cue laughter.]]
Meyers: You haven't? You've been playing football your whole life.
Thompson: I know, but … I always wear earplugs during the games to block out the sounds of my own screams.
Meyers: Well, I hope you can carry this passion to the Super Bowl. The 49ers are favored by four-and-a-half points.
Thompson: Oh, Seth, I can't listen to that. I've been through too much to get here. I'm 37 years old. I gotta torn triceps. I can't get this paint off my face. But I know that it's all part of a higher plan. The world is amazing, Seth. Look outside. There's that gorgeous skating rink right by your building. That used to be the Rockefeller Center Lake, Seth.
Meyers: No, that rink was never a lake.
Thompson: I mean, people would drown in there.
Thompson: But now scarves are flapping in the wind. People getting engaged. Hot chocolate. Aaaah. It's so beautiful.
Thompson: They said it couldn't be done, Seth.
Thompson: They said that they couldn't take a dangerous lake outside of a major New York City building and turn it into something fun. But they did.
Meyers: Well, we're … we're glad you're here.
Thompson: I almost didn't make it.
Meyers: Oh? Tell me what happened.
Thompson: I was driving up Sixth Avenue, and then this police officer said that the road was closed, said because of construction, there's a ditch up two blocks ahead. I said, 'Look, no roads are closed to Ray Lewis. Because I believe. Only a higher power could tell Ray Lewis what to do.'
Meyers: And then what happened?
Thompson: Well, I drove two blocks up and crashed into a ditch.
Meyers: Oh, OK.
Thompson: I cracked two ribs, Seth.
Meyers: Oh no.
Thompson: I got a detached retina. But I got here. I survived. Nothing's going to keep Ray Lewis down. Not a ditch. Not a retina. [Blinking] Not the 49ers. We are not gonna lose that game.
Meyers: I gotta tell you: I'm not worried about what will happen if you lose. I'm more worried about what will happen if you win.
Thompson: Seth, if we win the Super Bowl, I'm gonna go to the 50 yard line of the Superdome, kneel down and then I'm gonna ASCEND INTO HEAVEN. I'm going through the roof, Seth. It's gonna be a sight.
Meyers: Ray Lewis, everybody!
[Thompson rises and does a squirrel dance.]
After Weekend Update ends, camera pans back out to show Thompson doing the Dance.