Why is it OK for women to read porn (Fifty Shades of Grey) but act all freaked out about watching it?
—Nate B., Oakland Park
Jenna Jameson Is the Masseuse" or "Real People, Real Life, Real Sex Series." They all have stories for the lady and visuals you will both like.
I've never used a sex toy before. What is the best one to use?
—Magaly R., Tamarac
Dear Ready to Play: I am huge advocate for sex toys. No, I don't see them as a replacement for the real thing, but they can be a great addition to a healthy sex life. And they can be a lifesaver in a long-distance relationship — ask any military wife. So, where to start? I think the bullet or egg are great first toys. They offer great clitoral stimulus, act as a great addition to fingers and are small enough to hide anywhere in the house. Plus, they can be fun with a partner. Many offer varying speeds and styles that will let you experiment without getting too crazy, and maintenance and cleaning are easy. A great website that is both informative and easy to navigate is AdamEve.com. Good luck, and have fun.
I sometimes think about other people while having sex with my husband. Is that normal?
—Joan A., Highland Beach
Dear Mrs. Imagination: The word "normal" when it comes to sex is such a tricky thing. I think imagining other people can be healthy and add a little spice to a humdrum sex life. Our brain is our best sex organ, and often we use it during sex to think about what we need to do after sex. I give you props for using that imagination to your benefit. As long as it stays to sometimes, I think what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
What constitutes a woman being labeled a "cougar?" Is it the age difference between the man and woman or the merely the woman's age?
Dear Ms. Grrr: It is a combo of the two. In most cases, a "cougar" is a woman who is 35 to 40 (depends who you ask) who is looking to date a man at least 10 years younger than her. Here in South Florida, the cougar seems to be doing quite well, so happy hunting; I hope you get those cubs, ladies.
I'm a full-time working mom who does most of the housework. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, and I need a good night's sleep to recharge. Is it reasonable for my husband to wake me up in the middle of the night and expect sex?
—Natalie R., Wellington
Dear Mrs. Just Say No: Is it reasonable to ask your husband to have sex while he is in the middle of doing something he really likes? The answer is maybe. But we wouldn't do it because chances are, we will get the answer: not right now. What you might need to do is schedule sex. I know it doesn't sound very sexy, but it will make you both happier. Perhaps instead of the middle of the night, try early in the morning when you are more refreshed and ready to go, or just before bed so you can pass out in orgasmic bliss. Either way, if he does it again, tell him he has lost his mind and to go back to bed.
Is secretly watching porn considered cheating?
—Felicia R., Boca Raton
Dear Watch Away: No, it is not cheating. Porn can be a healthy part of our lives. Now, the real question is: Why is it being done in secret? Is it to hide the amount of time spent watching? Is it because there was a mutual agreement in the relationship not to watch porn? All I will say is it is OK to watch porn but not OK to feel like you need to have secrets.
Recently over a couple drinks, my boyfriend and I discussed recording or taking photos during foreplay and sex. At the time I was all for it, but now I have some reservations. Do you think it is a good idea?
— Amy S. Coconut Creek
Dear Lights, Camera, Action: Taking your own boudoir photos or recording your self can be fun. Yes the photos might not be perfect, and the angles might be scary, but there is something interesting about being able to see yourself in the heat of passion. The key is trust. Make sure you and your partner agree what will be done with the evidence, and follow through. Good luck, and remember, lighting goes a long way.